Saturday, March 16: We’re Throwing a Band Party and We Like Dogs.

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Saturday the 16th, we’re opening up the outside to benefit Bama Bully Rescue. Homewood has declared that our property inhabits an “entertainment zone.” That means – and forgive my rudimentary understanding of the designation – that we can do certain things within in the zone that we cannot do outside of the zone. What are those fantastical newly allowed experiences we can suddenly avail ourselves of, you might ask?

Not really sure. I’m assuming there’s a list somewhere if you want to get into the nuts and bolts of it, but we are sure that we can now have a band outside. So, we’re gonna. A really good one.

What She Said, will play from 3-7, serving up “raw soulful sounds of Blues, Americana and Southern Rock.” Come spend the first Saturday of 2024 that can claim an extra hour before the sun goes down with pizza, great music, and if you want, a beer, some wine, or a cocktail. We’re setting up an outdoor bar to make the occasion that much more luxurious.

And! And, it’s for a cause. Bama Bully Rescue does laudable things. From their website: “We work with animal shelters to rescue pit bull type dogs who are overlooked for adoption and therefore at risk for euthanasia, and pull them for placement in foster care.” They’re a volunteer-run organization and they rely on your help to carry out the mission.

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New Featured Pastas to Consider While You Eat the New Featured Bruschetta[!]

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[UPDATED: Management has objected to the following text and asked that it be ignored in favor of the text following the following text.]

If it’s so great, why isn’t it on the regular menu?

Ever been in a great relationship but she doesn’t like baseball and then you meet someone who you know you don’t have much in common with she but looks like the kind of girl who would definitely watch baseball, maybe even without being asked, and before you know it you’re pretending to read the sports page in the morning so your significant other doesn’t realize that instead of working late you were sharing a plate of spicy wings and a pitcher of beer while the Braves play?

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Computer Aided Non-Sequitur [Updated]

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Like everyone else with a Twitter account, I’ve spent my morning playing with Microsoft’s AI art generator. It’s game day so I tried “Pizza and Roll Tide.” You get to add a style or medium and I’m a big enough fan of Christina Rossetti’s poetry that my admiration spills over to her brother’s paintings, so I added “Pre-Raphaelite.”

What the hell is “FOAM FINER”?

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Now Hiring Servers!

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Did you see the exclamation point in the title? This has to be big news.

The reason companies don’t say that they have a life changing opportunity available is that to many people assume that “life changing” has to refer to something momentous. It can mean something small too. If you’ve never had a butterfly land on your Frosted Flakes and then one does, it might not be a huge deal, but your life has changed in that you can no longer honestly say that you’ve never had a lepidoptera grace your breakfast flakes.

Day and night shifts are available and we can be flexible. Come by, demonstrate that you can be nice and not forget stuff over discrete periods of time and get started on a life changing (see above) journey that will take you from one table to a different table and back with repeated stops at many points in between. Discover the wonders of exclusive kitchen and storage areas not usually open to the general public, regale your non-DeVinci’s employed friends with tales of the liberal employee soft drink/tea/coffee policy, and gaze admiringly at that part of Vulcan’s arm that you can see over the tree line from the parking lot.

Call us at (205) 879-1455 and leave a message for Ben.

World Games Have Begun

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This is great. We have visitors in the Birmingham area from all over the world. Per twitter, the reaction to our town and facilities that I’ve seen can overwhelmingly described as laudable. Wait till these visitors get a few days of wandering around town to grasp the quality of restaurants we have here.

When you run into a tourist, tell them all about your favorite eateries. I’d love it if you mentioned us, but if your thoughts lean toward a Gyro from Sam’s Deli or tacos from El Barrio, spread the word. We have a ton to offer around here. Let people know.

We Have New Wines!

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We do. I wasn’t just joking around in order to write a headline that ends in an exclamation point.  You’ll be pleased, I think.

The hero is a Loire Valley Sauvignon Blanc. Les Roches 2020 from the Touraine appellation is the antithesis of the popular but overwrought Southern Hemisphere offerings with wads of citrus bourn from an extended growing season. This is pure Europe. Peach and other soft fruits – melon if you’re willing to chase it – follow a light body. It’s a sipping wine, an alternative to an ice-cold beer for when the Braves game starts up. Sit back and well… sit back.

Also new to the bar is a Chardonnay from the good people at Noah River, a Pinot Noir from Boen, a Chianti Colli Senesi from Castello di Farnetella, and a Malbec from Piatelli Vineyards out of Mendoza.

Seasons change and so do we. Look to this sight for further changes as the days sweat a mean streak through your otherwise kind heart. It’s hot out there, but it’s pretty comfortable in here.

Pull up a chair.

DeVinci’s Pizza: Your One Stop Web Site for Wordle Help

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I’ve broken the game. I feel like one of those kids who came up with a pattern to solve the Rubix Cube in no time flat.

If you utilize my three easy to follow steps I guarantee* you success and access to the spoils that follow. Women will adore you (or men depending.) Co-workers will dutifully march ahead of you littering your path with rose petals. People who once tried to get into the elevator before you will graciously step aside. You will always get the last piece of pizza. You have my guarantee.*

For those not familiar with Wordle it’s a word game where you are given six chances to figure out each round’s featured five letter word. You type in a word and if one of that word’s letters is in the target word the letter will be surrounded by an orange square. If the letter isn’t in the target word it gets surrounded by a grey square. Finally, if the letter is both in the target word and you placed it in the spot where it should be in the target word (second letter, etc.) then it get’s surrounded by a green square. You use process of elimination to put together the word before you run out of chances.

People I’ve watched play tend to guess and then guess again. I look to eliminate rather than find and in doing so I give up three out of six tries right away.

EARTH

MOUND

SPICY

Type those three words in and you have dealt with all the vowels including Y and most of the more commonly used consonants. Once you know what vowels are in play and what letters in general are not, the game is a breeze.

You are welcome wonderful world.

*Not in any way to be construed as a guarantee.  

P.O.E.T.S. Day! The John Milton Edition.

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Editor’s Note: There is some reproduction from an earlier version of this series. The P.O.E.T.S. Day has been picked up by another site to publish simultaneously and we are putting out best foot forward for the new audience. There will be some repeats in the short term, but all will balance out. Thanks for reading, both times.

File:John Milton signature.svg - Wikipedia

Congratulations lads and lassies, despite the drudgery of the work week you’ve made it to Friday and the weekend is in sight. But we are not watchers, you and I. We are not mere witnesses to the unfolding of our destinies. We do not wait for the weekend. We seize it. It’s time for a P.O.E.T.S. Day – Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday.

So fake a cough, “twist your ankle,” or just slip out of the office quietly. No one will think the less of you for a lie or minor property destruction in the cause of sidling up to a bar a few hours early.

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